I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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