Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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