I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
