Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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