My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Less talking, more tequila
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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