am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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