That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
