so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
