the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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