So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
