Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize