she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
