He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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