ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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