He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
