Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
