so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
