I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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