just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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