i jhust puked up my retainher.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
