her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you win again, gameday.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
