Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
