We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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