I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I look better un-naked...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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