His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
