Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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