I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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