# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
