help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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