I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
