What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
