I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
