they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
