Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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