2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
