I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He? As in you personified your dick?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
