I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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