David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
