I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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