She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
is it fun? or sober?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
