FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Randomize
