ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
