But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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