So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize