How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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