WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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