I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
