I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
