it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize