so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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