I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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