Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
