Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
