Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize