It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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