so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
