3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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