I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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