I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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