I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
