Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
there's paper in my vomit.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
