I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
