I wannas sexs uuuuu
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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