Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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