I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
