i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
