they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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