I'll bet she douches with gravy.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
