11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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